Dealing With A Family That Doesn’t Support Your Financial Decisions
Dealing with a family that doesn’t support your financial decisions is something you can’t anticipate. Clearly communicating your financial decisions with your family can help avoid disagreements.
Having financial decisions that do not align with your family’s perspective are a common point of conflict for many families.
Our parents and their parents had their ways of saving and investing, and now you have so many options on how to make and save money that your family might not be familiar with or understand.
Educating your family first will help smooth things out, but sometimes this is not realistic.
Don’t let expectation or criticism stand in your way of success. Your financial stability is your choice.
Follow along as we explain some common reasons families might not support your financial decisions and explore how you get better control of situations like these.
Why is your family unsupportive?
There are many reasons why some family members may be unsupportive. Perhaps they have different values or beliefs than you, or they may not be able to provide the level of assistance needed.
In some cases, family members may be unsupportive because they are struggling with their own issues and are unable to offer help.
Whatever the reason, it can be difficult to deal with an unsupportive family member. It is important to remember that you can’t control how others behave.
Dealing with a family that doesn’t support your financial decisions can get complicated. Knowing how to avoid and understand similar situations is power.
Let’s see a few common reasons why you might face a disagreement or lack support from your family.
5 Common Problems That Arise When Discussing Finances With Your Family
1.They may not understand your plan or reasons
When it comes to the topic of money, your family might not be on board with your plan. Don’t let their lack of knowledge and understanding build your resentment.
When you propose your ideas, be prepared for some pushback. It is common for your family to appear unreasonable when you are discussing your financial future.
Remember, your family wants the best for you.
Your parents had their way of saving and planning and dream that you will follow in their footsteps. Guess what, more than likely, your folks had a similar conversation with their parents when they decided to plan their future.
Connecting our mindsets with the baby boomers mindsets can be difficult.
Remember, it can be hard for your folks to remember back to the time they were in the same place as you, so most of the disagreements might just be a lack of understanding.
2.They may be struggling with their own issues
If you face pushback, when you have the conversation with your family regarding your financial decisions, don’t be surprised.
Timing is everything.
Bringing the topic of money up can be sensitive, especially if your family is battling with their own issues.
According to an article published by Prudential, nearly forty-six percent of households are struggling financially.
Since money is a topic of sensitivity for most, planning for the talk is important. Prepare yourself for a positive or negative outcome. If your conversation takes a dive, don’t get upset, reschedule for another time.
Continue reading: Understanding How Money Influences Your Mindset
3.You haven’t asked for support directly
Another reason your family could disapprove of your financial decisions is that you have not asked for their support directly.
If you come from a very close-knit family, discussing your financial decisions without their knowing, could be taken offensively.
The best advice I can offer you is to make your parents understand. Remember, your financial decisions are your business. What you decide to do with your money is up to you.
Unsupportive parents are the result of a lack of proper communication.
Be clear and concrete with your plans. Also, be prepared to answer any and all questions they have, even if you have to go back and collect further information to answer their questions.
4.You Haven’t Set boundaries and stuck to them
Setting boundaries is one of the hardest subjects when it comes to the topic of money. Setting the proper tone from the beginning will help manage those difficult conversations.
The kind of support you need is positive. So keep your boundaries firm yet positive, and most importantly, follow through.
Boundaries help build a respectful relationship within families. They are not to create resentment, just respect.
5. You’re Worried It Will Strain Your Relationships
Living in fear that your relationship will face strain by sharing your financial situation and decisions with your family is common.
Some might take your words as gloating, or alternatively, that your viewpoint doesn’t align with theirs.
Fear not; expressing your plan is entirely up to you. The results are completely in your hands to take control of.
Money and your relationship with your parents may feel like one of the biggest confrontations you will face in your lifetime.
As long as you are financially stable, that should be your only focus. Of course, your actions should also align with an appropriate lifestyle.
Communicate your feelings, request to help your parents or family understand, and be open to discussions that may seem uncomfortable.
Sometimes getting the hard topics out in the open, in the beginning, are better than dragging them along over the years. In the long term, the mental struggle you might feel from hiding your plan is more toxic than facing the confrontation.
Tips To Cope
Mindset shifts for dealing with unsupportive family members
If you’re used to having a close, supportive family, it can be tough to deal with relatives who don’t seem to understand or care about your situation. Here are some mindset shifts that may help you cope:
- First, remember that you can’t change other people, so don’t waste your energy trying. Instead, focus on what you can control: your own thoughts and actions.
- Second, try to understand where they’re coming from. Maybe they’re just insecure or afraid themselves and don’t know how to express their feelings or interests.
- Lastly, accept that you may never see eye to eye on everything – but that doesn’t mean you can’t still love and care for each other.
Understand that it’s their issue. Not yours.
When you share your important plans and don’t receive the support that you were hoping for, don’t blame yourself. Just understand that their lack of understanding is their issue, not yours.
Hearing the success of others can trigger remorseful feelings of resentment. Remember, the behavior of others should not hold you from your success.
You’re not an adult child; even if your family projects this feeling, you are in control of your financial decisions.
Move towards your success, and don’t let the attitudes of others influence your great plan.
When your goal is to pursue early retirement or navigate towards a new business, go for it.
Don’t let your unsupportive family get in your way.
Dealing with an unsupportive family is not easy. Times get hard, especially when discussing your finances with your loved ones.
Just remember to take your time and remain patient. Not everyone is able to understand your ideas and decisions immediately.
Discuss these topics with compassion to your loved ones to help make these difficult conversations a bit easier. Sometimes a reaction can be based on another’s hardships, so be prepared. Be sure to set appropriate boundaries in the beginning to avoid heated confrontations.
Your future is ultimately your decision, so make the calculated decisions that will benefit your purpose.