How money destroys families and ruins relationships. Signs to watch out for.
Is your relationship on the road to failure over money issues? Here are five signs to watch before it becomes a big problem
Starting a new exciting relationship can be overwhelming. Emotions, feelings, and new beginnings. Who starts out thinking to get the hard conversations out of the way.
Money conversations are the hardest, a recession makes things worse.. Perhaps the make-it-or-break-it conversations.
Wouldn’t getting these hard conversations out in the open, in the beginning, be great?
Avoid wasted time and headaches with the wrong partner, if not appropriately communicated, money destroys relationships.
Money doesn’t buy love. It can ruin it.
Some think that money can buy love, but money can only buy lust, not love. Love is earned.
Money and love are not always aligned.
Relationships that are flashy in the beginning and based on trying to impress the other person are exciting but become bland over time. Remember, you can’t buy happiness.
Keep reading along and pay close attention if your relationship falls into any of these categories.
5 reasons relationships fail over money
1. Different spending habits
Healthy relationships usually work in harmony. How can you be peaceful if you and your partner have different spending habits?
Are you a savvy saver, and your partner is a super shopper?
Do you enjoy sticking to your budget and working hard to save for that special vacation?
Having a partner with different spending habits might become complicated and lead to arguments.
An article written by the Institute For Divorce Financial Analysts stated that 22% of divorces end because of money problems.
How to avoid these differences. Start in the beginning. Have open communication with your partner to know what their goals are or if they have any.
Talk about your goals and motivations with money. Discuss if you both can come to an agreement that will keep you on the same page.
If not, big red flag. Relationships and families will have money problems when you’re not aligned with your spending habits.
Tip: 7 Money Lessons I Learned From Training Rich People
2. Frugality extremes
While practicing frugality is positive, taking it to the extreme can ruin many healthy relationships. Maybe you and your partner start on the same page and, over time, drift apart.
Money habits can determine the health of your relationship.
If your partner is a penny pincher and you are a loose spender, more than likely, conflicts arise.
Every month, when paying the bills, be prepared for a heated discussion. The groundwork needs to be set in the beginning to avoid these problems.
Communicate your spending habits and make sure your partner can handle it.
The key to a happy, healthy relationship is agreeing to understand each other. The fewer assumptions you make, the better.
3. Combining money
Keep your eyes open if you and your partner are constantly arguing over combining your money or opening a joint account.
A partner unwilling to open a joint bank account with you might signify a partner with financial infidelity issues.
Your spouse may have skeletons in the closet they are not ready to let you know about, or it could even be trust issues that deter them from agreeing to combine their money with yours.
Confront these issues with compassion and kindness.
There is a quote from the good book that says, Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Money destroys relationships. If you love your partner and want to work on the underlying causes holding them from a joint account, remember to be delicate when discussing this concern.
Bonus: How To Budget As A Couple Without Fighting
4. Secretive about spending
Secret spending is an issue that can stem from a bigger problem. You can’t have a healthy relationship if you are secretive.
Keeping secret on how and what you spend your money is a dealbreaker and can kill your relationship.
Your partner will never be able to trust you, and a lack of trust will end with a bigger problem. Be open and honest to avoid this money mistake.
5. lack of common financial goals
Couples who don’t have any set financial goals end up lost and confused.
What happens if your relationship is about living in the now, shopping, vacationing, and nothing serious?
Have you set aside time to plan for an emergency? Do you want to buy a house in the future?
Lack of financial goals as a couple will cause future conflict. Maybe you want to keep everything fun, light and airy initially. But eventually, serious topics have to happen.
Keep the air clear from the beginning, and you will have a happier and healthier relationship over time.
What money signs to look for in your partner when starting a relationship?
When starting a relationship, you want to look for certain traits. Now you know five signs to watch that will keep you out of financial trouble.
Yes, everyone commits a money mistake here and there, but repeated money mistakes are a sign that you or your partner have to make some changes.
Good money habits are essential for a solid relationship, but both partners must be on the same page.
Know what you want first. Then see if your partner’s interests align with yours. Never settle for less than you deserve.
An article by Wilkinson & Finkbeiner said that couples with no assets in the first three years are 70 percent more likely to divorce than couples who have assets.
For more signs to look for, read our latest article:How To Tell If Your Partner Is Financially Stable?
How to build a solid money foundation as a couple?
Building a solid money foundation is a goal all couples should strive for.
How do you get started?
- Open communication starts a solid money foundation as a couple.
- Discuss your goals individually, then discuss what you want to achieve together.
- Set a tone of how you both will execute towards your family goal and your roles.
- Constantly check in to ensure that you are both staying on the same page.
- Make time to relax and enjoy each other. All work and no play is no fun.
- Relationships take constant work, especially at the start.
Remember, you both agreed to work on achieving a specific goal.
Each of you is responsible for the outcome and results. Don’t blame the other for making mistakes during the process. We are all human.
Suppose your goal is to save for your first house together. Possibly, save for an emergency fund. Remember, the goal is between the both of you, not just one person.
The money I make is mine, and the money my partner makes is ours.
This is also a red flag.
Unity in the relationship is important. But the separation of mine and yours sends a message of trust and control issues, leading to even bigger problems.
A partner that feels they are not required to contribute or that their money is their decision on what to do with it is not fair in a relationship.
It is essential to address bad money habits and avoid relationship problems.
If you prefer to walk into a relationship destined to work, then working these kinks out early and getting out early is the best option.
Remember what we said early on in this article, money destroys relationships. Don’t let money ruin you. Avoid partners that have money habits that don’t align with your goals.
Credit card debt, financial infidelity, and bad money habits are relationship problems to avoid.
Finding a partner that is open and honest about their goals and plans and wants to include you in them is a great starting place.
Look out for a partner that is a spend-a-holic if you are determined to be a savvy saver.
Sway away from that person who refuses to combine incomes.
Remember, you must have goals of your own to know what you want from your partner.
Communicate openly and constantly check in with your partner to ensure they are still on the same page as you.