What’s Holding You Back From Success
Figuring out the reasons behind your current reality often requires a lot of time, energy, and self-evaluation. If done from a narrow-minded position, you’ll search for answers in all the wrong places.
Nine out of ten times, the answers are right before you.
Nine out of ten times, breaking the patterns that put you in this position is difficult. But not impossible.
If you feel like turning your reality around, let’s take a look at some aspects that may be troubling you and how to recover from them.
1. Lack Of Self-Esteem
How often do you second-guess your thoughts and actions? Are you eager for peer approval? If your answer to these questions is yes, then you may have low self-esteem.
As LifeStance Health shares, this issue comes from many factors, such as:
- Disapproval from parents or authority figures
- Imposed beauty standards
- Negative self-image
- Unrealistic goals
There are many ways to shift your perspective, you can start by:
- Neutralizing your thoughts. They’re just thoughts anyways, not reality.
- Spinning negative self-talk. Change your “I can’t” to “I sure can”
- Regulate social media consumption. Comparison is the thief of you, remember that.
Try it out today, and see results before you know it.
2. Unclear Goals
Wanting to do many things at once is not a great approach. Of course, you can have a wide range of interests that you want to develop… but not all at the same time. This will only waste your time.
Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve is paramount for any aspect of your life. As George T. Duran states, there’s a S.M.A.R.T way to set goals.
- S for specific
- M for measurable
- A for achievable
- R for realistic
- T for timely
You can apply this to short, medium, and large-term goals.
3. No Goals
Having no goals is another indicator of low self-esteem. So, how exactly do you set goals?
Start by looking at your interests and hobbies. What do you pay attention to the most? Take a moment to reflect on that.
Once you know what sparks your mind, ask yourself the following:
- How good or bad or decent are you at this task?
- How can you improve your performance?
- What prevents you from keeping on doing this?
- What’s the best-case scenario, if you keep doing this task?
See, now you have a goal. Thanks to a brief SWOT analysis. Practice this from time to time and see what’s changed and what stayed the same.
4. Lazy Habits
Your mind is only as clean and focused as your surroundings. If you have a cluttered space, then something must be off.
To avoid falling into this pattern, again and again, try following the 2-minute rule. Have you ever heard of it? No? Let me explain.
Basically, if it takes you two minutes to do something, then do it. Right away. Don’t think about it, just do it.
Now, I know there are chores that are quite obnoxious to do. (Taking out the trash, for instance). If you struggle to apply the rule to some scenarios, then the solution is simple and effective.
Simplify the tasks down to 2 minutes or less. That’s it.
According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, you need to first establish habits, then focus on improving them. Once you understand this, you will only move forward.
Always remember, it is better to achieve 1% every day than 100% every two months.
5. Bad Friendships
Have you ever heard the saying you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? That’s true, although you might not realize it now.
Connections either make us or break us. Who you let into your life is far more important than what you’re doing. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
If you feel like someone is not a good fit for you anymore, try asking yourself:
- Do they serve me or take from me?
- If they take from me, why do I let this happen?
- How can I turn this scenario around?
Licensed therapist Katie Norton explains that, in order to improve relationships, you must address what’s bothering you right away. Create a space where both parties are comfortable enough to speak up and see eye to eye. Do it wholeheartedly.
6. Listening To Social Media Gurus
It’s no secret that people chase shiny objects and meaningless relationships all the time. And with the rise of social media platforms, it’s gotten even more noticeable.
Human beings will always showcase the better version of themselves, especially online.
Nowadays, it seems like everyone is at their best. And if you’re at your lowest, you’re not welcome into this narrative.
Finding authenticity on social media is as rare as finding a 3-dollar bill. At the end of the day, you must take everything you listen and read with a grain of salt. Even this post.
7. Financial Literacy
Just because you earn X amount, doesn’t mean you can spend Y amount. Or even Z amount.
In The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel explains the difference between being rich and being wealthy.
The first one makes you unaware of your resources and leads you to believe you’re never gonna run out of them. The second one allows you to see things as they are, and appreciate what you have.
Craving things is not awful, but it can be.
Be mindful of your decisions. Understand their impact now and a few years from now.
This applies to everything, not just money.
8. Imprinted Parent Beliefs
Parents are the first role models in your life. If they mess up, they would want you to do better than them. If they succeed, then you must be as good or even better.
It’s both tiring and unrealistic to follow a path that someone laid out for you, without even consulting you. So the shortcut is this: don’t do it.
As an adult, you’re in charge of your decisions. Take the necessary steps to become who you truly are, and be bold about it.
9. Bad Eating Habits
Did you know your stomach regulates your emotions? It does, and when you don’t treat it properly, madness happens.
The gut serves as a second brain, and that’s where the magic (or crisis) is born. The overall health of your gut determines your well-being.
So the math is simple. If you eat badly, your body will react badly. If you eat healthy, your body will thank you. Make sure to:
- Cut down your sugar consumption
- Include probiotics and vegetables in your diet
- Get enough sleep
If you’re interested in learning more, this is where you should start.
10. Putting Others First
People pleasers are the ones who will go out of their way to maintain relationships. Because they don’t know better.
Recovering from putting others first can be excruciating, but it doesn’t have to be the case if:
- You learn how and when to say no
- You establish crystal clear boundaries
- You know your value
By internalizing this, you will regain confidence, nurture your relationships and overcome every hurdle you face.
Perfectionism is that one kid who used to tease you in kindergarten. That one teacher who always told you to do better. That one coworker who strives when putting you down.
Contrary to popular belief, Perfectionism prevents you from being the better version of yourself.
There isn’t such a thing as perfect, it is either finished or unfinished. Improvable or enough.
Mess up and do it big time. You’ll learn more from your mistakes than the things you do well.
You can check out this video if you need a little extra push.
12. Lack Of Budget Planning
As mentioned above, personal finance should be one of your main concerns. When you’re clear on what you want to achieve, everything falls into place. When not, it may feel like your world is crashing.
It’s easier to overspend than to commit to a budget. Use these techniques to heal your relationship with money.
- Set short-term financial goals. It’s far more doable than always looking at the big numbers.
- Create a spreadsheet. Write down every penny that goes in, every penny that goes out.
- Pay off your debt. Set small amounts each month. You’ll stress less.
Most importantly, make rational decisions. There is no reason to risk what you have and need for what you don’t have and don’t need. That’s what Housel said.
13. Instant Gratification
At last, instant gratification is likely to be one of your major struggles. Why? Because society implies that every chance it gets. Take advertising, for instance.
Seems like every commercial strives to push on to get whatever shiny object just came out. If you do it now, you will save a ton later. And by doing so, you’ll be amongst the X number of people who had it first. Yay for being the first.
Now the time passes and you no longer find value in the thing, so you get another one. And another one. Next thing you know, you have everything you ever wanted. Yet, it doesn’t give you anything other than a huge debt and insane interest rates.
The same happens with goals, careers, and relationships. Make use of your critical thinking and analyze what’s best for you. It might not be what you thought at first.
Put yourself and your well-being among everything else. Remember: you are your greatest asset and you should treat yourself as such.
And yes, it’s okay to take time to reflect and relax. We’re humans, not the latest AI. But always keep your motivations, these will only push you to become your best self.
Work smarter and you’ll see how things fall into place afterward.